Is “Being yourself” holding you back from truly knowing yourself


“Be yourself” is one of the most common advice in these days. Want to be confident?Want to be good with women(men, in case of women)?Want to be good conversationalist?….many problem ,one universal solution” be yourself”.

Personally i am not against of this advice but this is just too over generalized advice. In order to handle any problem , we must know how to solve it instead of just being ourselves.

Why “be yourself ” do less good and more confuse people

  • A individual is always dynamic..Our thought and motivations at age of 15 are not very similar to our mental model at 55. If  we decided to “be ourselves”, which “we” we should chose to become?food for thought,isnt it?
  • Sometime when we need to push our comfort zone,we want to crawl back to safety of known world. Thus we can never know what lies just out side of our comfort boundary. Over-generalized advice like “be yourself” here do a fine job as an perfect excuse.
  • We  often shape and change our mentality by being in touch with different situation or people. Restrict our social interaction and experience of new  things, we may never explore some part of our own self.
  • Just “being yourself” does no good.If we desire to speak well,start a business  or write our first book or whatever ,we have to make progress .It’s way to much important than sit on a chair and “just being ourselves”.  Only way to know our full potential is to push ourselves upto the breaking point .

How to set ourselves free and truly know ourselves :

I must admit this entire topic is self-contradictory. We should start working for self growth and at the same time we should know ourselves properly. Congruency and self discovery is a lifelong journey but here is some ways which can help us

  1. We should try to meet and mingle with people from every walk of life.For example say a person from  middle class background  and have certain morals, believes and motivations.But   when he comes into touch with both higher classes as well as working class ,he will start to see world from different perspective which definitely enrich himself.
  2. New challenge, new quest enrich us,so better if we grab every opportunity to enrich ourselves.An enriched and experienced individual knows a lot about himself indeed.
  3.  We should try to ignore politically correct media messages which bombard us “you are amazing way you are” as much as possible.Our surroundings effects our perception. Most media messages are designed to feel people better about themselves irrespective of their actual condition. Those who are in top,hardly spend their time in front of TV set. Thus they always accept their flaws and try to improve themselves.
  4. Reading books perhaps one of the best ways to gain knowledge. History, auto-biography,non fiction, fiction etc all have their own powerful influence over human mind.
  5. Curiosity. We should ask question and never take anything granted.

Wrapping up

Congruency and knowledge about oneself are among of best things could happen to a individual . But we should not stop our self discovery and waste our time by listening a lot of politically correct and fruitless Advices.

Carpe diem



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