Few days back while i was looking into some blogs, something really drew my attention, people are really banging their heads on brick walls to figure out how to fill up awkward silence in conversations. It is a big concern actually. From board room to dinner date, pauses in conversation can lead to not so good situations if one doesn’t know how to handle them. On the other hand, if handled properly, this pauses can be very useful to control flow of conversation. I ,personally struggled with this problem earlier and figured some ways out to overcome it.
Overcoming Obstacles: What we can do
1.First of all, during conversation Don’t even think about how to fill the long pauses. Because if one’s head is keeping itself busy to worry about what to say next ,he will not be able listen to the person next. Other person may feel ignored and unheard, which is obviously everything but good for connecting with them.
2.Pay attention to what he/she is saying. Each and every word. Ask them why they did such things or how did they feel at that moment etc.
3.Reciprocate, and let them do the talking. Trust me, everybody is love to talk about them, their life ,their dream etc and they can do it till end of time ,provided other person is skilled enough to lead the conversation and eager to listen.
4.Relate.If you have something common share it. It will instantly put other party at ease.
5.Don’t argue, Don’t judge. Every body has their own perspective. Try to see things from their point of view.People can easily tell if someone is trying to judge them.In that case they will shut themselves up.
6. Ask question .What he/she likes to talk about, if you don’t know something and he/she knows, ask about it. If done properly this simple yet effective technique can help a lot to get to know others in so
Turning shits into sugar: When to pause for getting better leverage over conversation
This thing can be little tricky and can be learned only by watching people, but smart usage conversational pauses can make one seems more powerful and respected. Definitely, non-verbal communication is the key here.I will suggest to watch some videos of great communicators like Steve jobs and Bill Clinton etc. I must recommend names of some movie stars like Daniel Craig (casino royal ) or Will Smith etc in this regard. What they actually do is that with their perfect voice tone modulation and razor-sharp non-verbals, they filled up pauses smoothly without even uttering a single word. These make them look more attractive and Powerful.
Gracefully avoiding conversational silences is something very few have mastered.Yet with constant practice and awareness this is possible.And it will make you must better communicator and more likable, which will definitely affect your life in a positive way.
onward and upward