“Devil may care attitude” and “boldness “are definitely most significant among them.
Look at them, If they want something they just get up and get it. You just can’t see any hint of hesitation in their personality. Everything is effortless to them and they are favored by fortune.Because they are the bold ones.
For ‘Average Joe’s often being bold is not easy at all. That seems fair, because we are taught and conditioned since childhood not to be bold.And years of practice of those ideas creates hell of a habit which is very hard to replace by another one.
Obstacles of being bold:
- We are accustomed and taught to please other people since childhood. From school to home everywhere ,we are taught to how to behave with others, good manners ,talking politely etc. In spite of having it’s own causes, these things often indirectly influences us to nurture validation seeking mentality in our subconscious mind .We often take a step back When being bold means you have to push your boundaries ,validation seeking mentality has no room for it.
- I believe ‘being yourself’ culture is mostly if not solely, preventing people from being bold in many cases. For example, if you want to attract women, you have to develop fashion, body languages, conversation skill then you need to approach them boldly yet in a social savy way. This is bold option and need a lot hard work, but you can always choose easier ‘being yourself’ mentality by just doing nothing and ensuring that during next Christmas you still remain a single while each of your buddies has their girlfriends.
- Being bold means you have to step out from your comfort zone, every single time. This is not easy at all. One needed a high level of emotional energy and right frame of mind to do this.
Pushing the limits: Road map to “boldness”:
There could be ten thousand way to achieve your goal but I am going to explain my way to do things. Boldness can be learned through practice. So some of my learning is here
- Be clear to yourself what You want and how your decisions are going to affect future and surroundings.
- Think what could be happen in worst case, like if death is possible then think twice , if it is just a rejection from a random girl or something like that, just jump.
- Re-frame the situation from “problem frame” to ‘what if” frame’. Well, this one is trickier. Try to find opportunity in obstacles. Challenge yourself every time. If your coach tells you run one mile extra, think you are running because you want to prove to world that you can fight off when even others think you are exhausted. This need constant practice, both finding opportunity and force yourself to change frame.
- Fight off victim mentality. Don’t blame other people or situation, if it’s really your fault may be totally or partially, for undesirable outcome. Just observe and learn which things can be done better way next time and don’t commit same mistake twice.
- Don’t seek validation or follow others’ silence if you think things can be done otherwise. Don’t wait up for others ,raise your voice and take action.
Boldness and changes in life
Boldness is something which I believe ,can be learned through practice so it’s never late,you can learn whenever you wish.But persistence IS the key here. Embarrassment or negative even awkward reactions from others are parts of this huge learning process.
But hard work really pays off. By being bold you can learn how to thrive for what you really want to accomplish. you can get freedom from both of your validation seeking mentality and victim mentality .You will feel freedom and people around you respect you for your courage. They want you to lead them on. And You will be favored by fortune because “fortune favors the bold”.
onward and upward,